Life is what you make of it

How did I become the person I am today? Taking a look at the (girl) that arrived at Thayer Learning Center Boot Camp you would have a hard time believing it was me. I was very good at hiding my problems, most of the time you would think I was happy and didn’t have any at all. My mom told me that she thinks my behavior was a cry for help. I would unconsciously put myself into situations to get into trouble because of how I felt about myself on the inside. I hid myself and put a shell on. I basically didn’t care anymore. I have always been responsible and in charge of things that were happening to me except my own feelings. Since I thought that no one knew how I would react at any given situation, I could be happy at one moment and freak out the next. My parents refused to let me make bad choices that I would regret in the future.

Finally I was on the way to get the help that I needed. Once in boot camp I found out that with good or bad experiences I could make better choices in the future. I then realized that the world wasn’t out to get me and I wasn’t the only one with problems. Not to mention that not everything was going to be given to me and I wasn’t always going to get my way and I would have to work hard and earn every step of the way.

On my 87th day I moved up to residency. I think that was by far the hardest part of the program for me. My mom told me that I can’t deal with my problems until I acknowledge that I have them. I arrived at Thayer Learning Center convinced that I wasn’t going to change and that absolutely nothing was wrong with me. I was very angry inside and very stubborn, but soon I found out that being stubborn wouldn’t get me anywhere. I was blaming myself for things I had no control over. I would beat myself up and had to learn to be more grateful for what I have. I was able to open up and unload a lot of painful things that had happened to me. Things I would not and could not talk about for at least six years. I didn’t understand why I had to go through what I did but soon realized that things happen for a reason and my answer won’t come when I want it to. Once out of my shell I discovered that my mom wasn’t out to get me either and she did understand what I was going through because she is just like me and has been through similar situations herself.

Once in Jr. Staff I began doing my real soul searching. It took me a long time to realize what my potential was and how it would benefit me as well as others. I had to love myself before I could allow others to love me. During the past six months I have been able to be a lot more patient with my dad situation and now I am strong enough to deal with everything myself.

I am now able to control my emotions in a constructive way and not focus my thoughts and actions on being so negative. I have an awesome relationship with my mom and step father and can be a good role model for my younger siblings instead of a negative influence. It was a difficult, long, hard experience for me but I’m to the point where I don’t wake up every morning thinking about my past. I learned that I can’t change the past but it wasn’t my fault and it doesn’t have to be an ongoing issue to deal with. I’ve learned values and skills that will help me achieve the goals I’ve set for myself to succeed in school, and life as well. I am on my way to being a happy, confident, successful young lady. I would like to thank my parents for providing me with a chance for self discovery, Mrs. Willa and Mr. Bundy for providing me with the help that I needed, and finally myself for never giving up and accomplishing my goals. Life is what you make of it, so make it worth while. Thank you!